Heartlander of the Week: Merry F-in Christmas

Years ago, a friend of mine went to one of those open gift exchanges where everyone brings a generic gift and then everyone gets to pick a gift unwrap it and then either they keep it or they can swap or steal gifts from other people, based on some set of rules that seems to be different at each of these events. At this particular event, one person got a cute stuffed animal and was very excited. Someone else “stole” the item from them and announced loudly to the group, “I don’t really want this, I think I’ll let my dog use it as a chew toy.” My friend politely parted ways at the end of the event, as you do, quietly thinking to herself, “Merry F-in Christmas to you”. As you do.

So, earlier today, the City of San Jose, California, forcibly evicted the sixty remaining residents of a homeless encampment. Their possessions were cleared out and disposed of and they were sent on their merry way, which is to mean, don’t come back to this spot. Merry F-in Christmas.

And earlier this week and this year, protesters in Mexico demanded the government determine the whereabouts of forty-three missing college students. With all due respect, the government of Mexico has looked for these students and found the remains of about 150 other people, but not these students. Merry F-in Christmas.

So, I think there was a time when there was something called “democracy” in North America. Is there an Iroquois who can run for President? Oh, wait. We exterminated a lot of those guys a while ago or something or dumped them into some lousy place that doubles as a near prison and we don’t let them out. Merry F-in Christmas.

In conclusion, let me ask that if someone gets something in the Big Gift Exchange that they like, can you let them keep it? I know it is way less drama than when you steal it, but maybe it matters somehow.


About missbodie

The Dragon Lady is a life long tea drinker. Her first coffee shops were Big Boy and the Oriental Diner in downtown Milwaukee. She lives in our Nation's Capital with three bicycles and an energetic tabby cat.
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